There are thousands of ways to convey “Be Good To Your Car” and word balloons shouldn’t be one of them. In fact, I can’t think of any situation where word balloons should be the go-to idea, short of comic strips and comic books.

Here’s what I would’ve done:

1) 86’d the word balloon. Yes, VW had talking cars in their old Crispin campaigns, but I didn’t love them then either. Frankly, the only car that should talk is K.I.T.T. So I would’ve just gone with something light and fun about taking care of your car—and not defaulting to a tired old movie quote.

2) Gotten personal. The body copy is fine I guess, but I would’ve tried for some personalization or customization here. Since I was driven to this microsite by an email, a database exists. So instead of having people go through multiple screens to select their state and dealer when scheduling an appointment, I’d work to remove those steps. It’d make for a better user experience.

3) Restated the offer. Frankly, I’m really not loving the offer copy—there’s too much of it. I’d save all that detail for the actual offer page and just hit the highlights. And while the inspection is free, people still have to take the time to go to the dealership and wait on the service. Smart owners know there’ll be a sales pitch as part of this, so I’d tell them why it’s really worth going in. Plus, using a phrase like ‘no charge’—in all caps no less—seems like VW’s hiding something. But maybe that’s the cynic in me.

4) Pictured something else. The photography here leaves something to be desired, so I’d really have my art director rethink these choices. First of all, an air filter shouldn’t be the same size as a stack of tires. All those images are just a jumbled mess anyway. Also, if I were tasked to advertise a free GPS system, I’d probably want to show it. I’m sure the tire is there for some B.S. co-op advertising reason, but I know there’s got to be a way around that. And I’d work with my art and account teams to find it.